1

Reading an article on the current state of publishing this morning, I looked up from breakfast and asked Paul, “What do you think about facebook?”

Without even looking up from his own book he answered,  “I think it’s run by the CIA.”

Oh my god.  Of course.  That explains so much.

2

Yesterday, I was struck by the ridiculous height of the crap pile on the kitchen table, and grumbling, started clearing it off.  I got it down to maybe a few inches high and at least 50% actual table top visible, called it a win, and went on to the next thing.  But after a moment, Paul came up and taped something to my shirt.  Here it is:

Long time readers might recall that we have a family running-joke of giving each other medals.  Nothing like a little familial recognition of our minor victories in life to keep up morale.

3

I went to download some pictures from the camera and discovered a series of maybe a dozen photos of my butt, that’s right, my butt.  I recognize the pants I was wearing, the pictures are from a walk we took in the woods the other day, pictures taken by whomever was walking behind me on the trail. “What’s up with these?” I ask.

“What?” says Sophie.  “Why are you looking at pictures of your butt?”

“Oh,” says Paul, glancing over.  “Those are mine.”

Blink.  “You took pictures of my butt?”

He shrugs.  “Wife porn.”

HAHAHAHA.

He cracks me up with his deadpan silliness.

Of course, he also cracks me up when he dances around with his underwear on his head.

(Don’t tell him I told you about that last part.)

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I just finished REAMDE by Neal Stephenson—REAMDE being an on-purpose typo-reversal of README…and it took multiple readings of the word for me to even notice the reversal, that’s how distracted I am in my life—a 1000 page (1000 pages!!!) techno-thriller for geeks that I am shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, was actually able hold my attention for the entire time.  I lost days to this thing.  I call it a thriller for geeks because 1) although it is written by a big name SF writer, there are no SF elements in this story, so, although you will find it in the SF part of the bookstore beside Stephenson’s classics like Snowcrash, SF it ain’t, and 2) one of the major worlds this story occupies is online gaming, something geeks (and I count myself among them, although I don’t have time to play MMORPGs right now) love and are knowledgeable about.

With a half-dozen point-of-view characters, dozens of additional semi-major players, travel from the American mid-west, to the north-west, to China and other points in Southeast Asia, and back to Canada, and surprisingly entertaining info-dumps on anything from great circles in air travel, gold-farming in massive multi-player games, the history of Taiwan, MI6 spycraft, the so-called war on terror, plus guns, lots and lots and LOTS of info about guns…this is a book with serious scope.  I tend to write one or two point-of-view books that take place in one or two locations, and the amount of research I do is daunting.  I can’t even imagine the time Stephenson must have put in researching the oodles of interesting scenarios across the globe that REAMDE explores.  All that told through distinct, likable characters dealing with difficult situations in interesting ways…REAMDE has tons of complex, and often witty, fun to offer.

The point being this: it’s amazing to me that I was truly interested as I read and read and read.  Whatever he threw at me, I gobbled up.  How does he do it? REAMDE isn’t a deep book, it didn’t blow my mind with ideas or characterizations or language.  But it bloody-well kept me reading.  That is no easy thing with me.  I can’t stay focused long enough to walk across the yurt and look something up—half the time I get to google and can’t remember what it was I wanted to know.  I pathologically leave books unfinished, books I was highly interested in at the time.  I just don’t remember to keep reading them.  Not an issue with REAMDE.  And thank goodness for whispersync—I had REAMDE on the ipod in my purse and late at night in bed, on the ipad at the kitchen table during meals, and on the kindle in the bathtub (I keep it in a ziploc, works great, costs pennies), all locations magically remembering where I had left off, whatever device I happened to be last reading on.  We are truly living in the future, people.  Ease into the water of REAMDE with Richard Forthrast navigating the semi-treacherous waters of his giant family reunion and soon you’ll be dealing with Russian mafia, Islamic jihadists, hostages, floating boat cities made out of repurposed tires, spies, right-wing separatists, etc, etc, etcQuite a ride.

So.  If you want to lose a week to a giant, intelligent, page-turning adventure,  I highly recommend REAMDE.  It isn’t a life changing book, but it is a highly entertaining, exciting, and informative excursion into worlds I’ll never personally visit.  A very fun read.  Only get the ebook if you can.  We can’t afford to lose the trees it must take to print this monster-doorstop on paper.

Here is a link to a cool sf site that linked to this review. Lots of good looking books reviewed there, makes me want to hole up for a month and just read read read.

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I’ve had several people ask me about the cool artwork for the Toby Streams the Universe cover, so I thought I’d do a post on it.  The image (not the text) was made for me by Ida Larsen, a digital artist living in Denmark.  She also did the art for Conjuring Raine.  I did a post on her artwork here.

Here’s how it happened.  I had a basic idea for Toby’s cover, and so I made a pathetic attempt at a sketch and sent it to Ida, who did me the service of not laughing at me.  She might have laughed behind my back, quietly to herself, but that’s cool, I respect that.  To my face she was nothing but professional.

I know, I know.  There’s a reason I’m a writer and not a visual artist.

Anyway.  So Ida came back with an image that was very close to my sketch (again, this is all the art, not the text) but, well, I hated it.  I mean, the guy’s face was just off, and I couldn’t figure out why.  It was sort of interesting, actually, to TRY to figure out why.  His eyebrows were too angled, his hair cut was too military, his lips were too sultry and down-turned.  I felt sorry for this guy whose face I was deconstructing in such a manner! I’m sure he’s lovely, I said to Ida.  I’m sure he’s a very nice person.

Well, turns out, he wasn’t a REAL person.  He was a 3-D model.  That is, I guess, he IS a real person, somewhere, who was scanned into a computer to create a posable, photo-realistic animated figure.  Weird, huh?  I didn’t even know they have those, but they do. Check it out.

But this, I decided, was why I didn’t like him.  He looked that tiny bit off that even the best CGI people look.  And in a close up, it was…disturbing.  In a non-identifiable way.  So…no.

Back to the drawing boards.  Or rather, back to the stock-image sites, looking for a man’s face, a real-live-human’s face, that would work.  I must have looked at THOUSANDS of pictures of young men, scrolling through thumbnail photos by the boatload.  It was bizarre.  This one’s too happy, that one’s too silly, his lower lip is too big, his eyes are too small, he looks too romance-cover, he looks too mean, he’s too old, he’s too young, he’s too sexy, he’s too funny.  ETC.  I sat with Sophie and iPad at one point, flicking through photos, and she started to get what I was going for too, and would say exactly what I was thinking about each one.  How did she catch on so quickly?  Perceptive kid, I guess.  Most of the faces were smiling, which automatically took them out of the running.  Those that weren’t smiling tended to be doing the sultry, come-hither look that I also didn’t want.  And if not that, then the guy looked MAD.  Arg! Happy, sexy, angry.  Doesn’t anyone take photos of young men that are outside those three emotions?

Finally I found this one, only part of a face, at the wrong angle, wrong hair, etc, but maybe Ida would be able to do something with it.

Turns out, she could.  Amazing to me that she could work her magic and from that, get this:

This image was one of many where we were trying to put in some wavy-lines to indicate something psychic or paranormal was going on.  Her initial image also didn’t have any clothes on, so I had her add a shirt, “kind of ratty looking,” which she did.  We tried lines going this way and that way, with sparkles, without, skinny, broad, all kind of lines.  Finally we settled on a vertical set of lines, like a wave, to sort of stand in for Toby’s “stream.”

At this point I started playing with fonts.  I’m using GIMP for this, which is a totally free image-making program like Photoshop, only did I mention that it is totally free?  It’s a bit tricky to learn at first so I recommend, whenever you want to do something, google for a youtube vid that will show you how.  Seeing the screen, seeing the program being used while someone explains it, is SOOOO much easier than trying to read text about complex image-processing click this, open that.  Say it with me:  Youtube.

Okay, so my first thought was to fill up the space with quirky words, like this image, but it seemed like too much.  The face was so strong an element already, a font that stood out so much made the whole cover kind of crazy and crowded. I tried about a million fonts.  Maybe two million.  I finally came back to very straight forward, plain, “boring” fonts.  Sigh.  I really like that quirky font!  I may yet find a use for it….  You can try out a bazillion fonts on places like myfonts.com which lets you preview whatever bit of text you want.  Very helpful before you buy.

Anyway, you can also see Ida added in the New York City skyline at that point, hopefully to identify the book as not an SF space sort of book, what with the galaxy theme and all. She and I were still going back and forth with various details but her work was coming to a close at this point.  She is so patient with me!

One way to make words stand out in front of a picture is to give them a drop-shadow, that is, the same word, made dark (or light) and put slightly off-kilter with the main word, to make it pop off the page a bit.  You can see a drop shadow in the word “universe” in the above image.  One day I gave some accidental key-command on GIMP and bam, all the text and all the text-shadows ended up all crazy, all over the page—and I really liked it.

Then came a bunch of experiments with upside down and backwards shadows, opacity, blurs, etc (you’ll remember a couple of posts back when I was trying a few of these out).  Finally I came on this, the final version.

I really like how the shadows aren’t where they are supposed to be, like Toby’s psychic perceptions of the world.  He is always seeing a double image, out of kilter with present time.  Sometimes it’s the past, sometimes it’s the future, but always it something he has to parse through to get to reality.  Well, I hope this image conveys something of that quality, anyway.

Lots of work from pathetic sketch to finished product!

All hail Ida and her super-powers!  And also hail to GIMP and Youtube videos! Without which, I would have to use that pathetic sketch on my cover.  And man, wouldn’t that suck.

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Talk about giving thanks, I’m so grateful to everyone who is buying copies of Toby Streams the Universe!  Very cool, indeed.  I hope you like it!  Raine, too.  If do you like them, tell your friends!  And please consider leaving a review on amazon.  It makes a big difference, and helps me in my moments of certainty that I suck as a writer, you know, those moments, I think all writers get them.

But the main thing is this: thanks for buying my books!

Y’all rock!

 

My credit card number got stolen, a common annoyance of the modern age, but get this: the person, whomever she or he is, in addition to buying some stuff at iTunes and Sephora, made thousands of dollars in contributions to charities.  With my card.

I find this kind of cool.  Someone out there is forcing credit card companies to donate to charity by stealing numbers and making donations which the card company has to honor.  The cardholder, me, is not damaged — except the 1- annoyance of having to change my credit card number and 2- I now receive dump-truck loads of junk mail from said charitable organizations trying to get me to donate again.  (Seriously, they are probably using up the $1000 dollars donated with all their postage and printing costs trying to get me to give them more money. Wtf?  Go do some good with that $1000 already!  Quit harassing me!  Sheesh, it’s like being hounded by bill collectors.)

I wonder who she/he is?  A hacker with a sense of social justice who likes iTunes and Sephora.  I am totally stealing this whole thing for a character in the next book….

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Like, VERY soon. Like NOW!  Toby on amazon.

I just got the final version back from the copy editor (all hail his superpowers), so woo hoo, we’re pulling the trigger!  Toby should be live in a couple of days, just in time for Thanksgiving reading—after you’ve stuffed yourself with sacrificial birdmeat and are sick of being in a crowd, curl up with your favorite e-reader and your very own, sparkling-new copy of Toby Streams the Universe and prepare to be ENTERTAINED.

Seriously, I’m so psyched, this one has been a long time coming.  So tell all your friends, get out your wallets, get out your friend’s wallets, buy my next book.  You won’t regret it….

________

Toby Hay is a psychic living in New York City, supporting his screwed-up family using his visions to play the stock market.  He also helps his private investigator best-friend with the occasional case–all while trying not to read the future of every person he meets. Such as Toby’s new neighbor, a beautiful painter hiding from her violent Ex. Or Toby’s psychic, sex-pot, sister, scared of her own future.  Or his quirky virtual-assistant, struggling to care for her sick child. Toby wants to help them all, but his super-psychic father trained him not to interfere, lest he lose his own sanity to his visions in the process. Toby’s father knew everything–he must have had good reasons for his rules.  Of course, he vanished nearly a year ago, without a trace…

Then a voice speaks in Toby’s mind, offering a path away from the dark future predicted by the Family Histories–if only Toby will challenge what his father taught him and learn to use his visions, rather than merely control them. Now Toby must figure out how to live inside his own, increasingly strange mind, all while finding his father, uncovering the identity of the voice, and saving his friends from their own futures.  But can Toby save himself from his own future?

It’s raining, and cold, and I ran the battery down on the ipad tracking the Occupy Wall Street feeds this morning—some brave journalism going on today, by the press and by the protestors both, twitter is amazing, #ows #N17 check it if you haven’t—rather than do my yoga practice because hey, it’s Lady’s Holiday like any minute now, and besides, there’s a freaking revolution going on, or as near an approximation as we’re likely to get, which blows my freaking mind.  Who can practice when people are getting beaten in the streets and dispersed with an LRAD “crowd control” devices?  Not me.  I remain glued to the feed.  I hope everyone is okay!  Stay strong!

THEN, in an odd coincidence, and with the dead ipad recharging, I opened up the laptop, and the tumblr I had left open last night gave me this, which I just adore:

madamethursday:

justjasper:

i want a tampon box with a motherfucking shark on it

I was just discussing yesterday how I long for pirate, dinosaur, and/or camo themed tampons and other hygiene products. I’m tired of this bright pink, soft blue, or “feminine”-yellow colored crap.

I’m fucking SHEDDING THE LINING OF MY UTERUS. Something that, actually, is really rather important to how our ENTIRE SPECIES has evolved, developed, and adapted to become dominant on this planet.

I want some recognition of the fact that it’s kind of badass, okay? I want pirates with peg legs and muskets and skull-and-crossbones on that fucker. I want a screaming pterodactyl descending with massive clawed talons extended to do battle with a motherfucking T-Rex with the kind of expression that tells you that it’s the primordial ancestor of the honey badger because pterodactyl don’t give a shit and hasn’t since the Triassic, y’all.

Oh, and btw, when we’re advertising for this stuff? Can we stop with this “our product helps you hide your delicate lady business from the eyes of other people” bullshit. I want a product that shows me that these hygiene things can stand up during an epic firefight with brain eating zombies and face sucking aliens. I want guns and bullets and something to blow up like somebody just invited the Mythbusters on set.  I want a commercial with three or four badass folks-that-menstruate (including the non-cis woman menstruators in there!) as secret agents and doing kicks and flips to prove to me that these products can handle what I go through as a uterus-bearer.

Want me to buy this stuff? Prove I can use it during an epic demon apocalypse without my underwear getting marked by Zorro (if you know what I mean).

Can we do that? Is it too much to ask for something like that? Just no more flowers, for the love of endometriums everywhere, okay?

SO.  There you have it.  The new ads for tampons should be Occupy Wall Street Sisters, some of whom, I’m sure, are menstruating today as the riot police hit them with batons.  Which I do not find funny at all, but I can’t help but make inappropriate jokes sometimes, its a syndrome of some kind.  Sorry.

Going back to #ows twitter now–Xeni Jardin @xeni from Boing Boing has an excellent feed if you’re unsure where to look.  Or if you don’t do twitter, go here for ustreams.  It’s a nightmare in the park right now.

UPDATE: From the comments, someone already thought of this. HAHAHAHAHA!

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The weather is fantastic this week, 70 degrees and fall colors everywhere.  The last few weeks have been cold, cold—I’m not ready for cold!  But not today, today it is perfect.

But I know we’re in the last days of warmth, over half the trees have lost their leaves.  But still, there is so much pretty to enjoy!  Especially when the wind gusts up and twirling leaves fall everywhere like confetti….

Time for a leaf walk!

The smell in the forest is wonderful right now, super sweet with the fallen leaves.

What is this color that oak leaves turn?  An orange-red-purple…maybe it doesn’t have a name of its own?  It should have a name of its own.

And under this maple….

…the ground was entirely golden yesterday.

I wish the color showed up in the photo the way it looked to us!  Like being underwater, if water was honey.  The reflected yellow was everywhere, in the sunlight, on the ground, filtering down from the trees overhead, we were soaking in it, just breathing it.  So beautiful!

And then this morning’s walk showed the same tree empty of leaves, the gold gone.  *sniff*

Winter, it is a-coming.

But not quite yet!  Must enjoy it while we still can….

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Grimmly just touched his toes to his head.  Big day for an ashtangi!  As I commented on his post, I remember being able to do that, I was maybe fourteen, no chance now!  But the crazy thing is, I remember being shocked to realize I could only barely do it, when previously it had been easy as pie.

Easy as Sophie makes it look:

This one is for you, Grimmly!  Raja kapotasana for the win!  Look at her put her head right in the soles of her feet!  I remember that sensation as a kid.  Maybe she and I have similar spines? Is it possible to get that back, now, at 40 years old? For Grimmly, the answer is yes.

When I read his post, I asked Sophie if I could take her picture “…doing that back bend thing you do?” and she said sure, and ran over.  “This one?” she said, flipping into one crazy pose after another, “or this one?”  She is doing all of these, of course, totally cold.

She stayed in this hangback for several moments while I waited for my camera to focus, all the while talking to me.  Then she slow-motion placed her hands on the ground, like reaching up to touch the sky.

“Don’t do anything that hurts!” I kept saying, “not even a little bit!”  To which she only rolled her eyes.  “It feels good, Mom.”  And I do remember that, I do, how it felt easy and natural to bend backward like this.  Can the remembering of it make it more possible in the now, I wonder, like those athletes who practice their sport in their minds?

Of course, progress in asana is not the point.

But it is exciting!  To be able to do what you would have sworn was impossible!  After only two years on the mat, I’ve had some of those.  Nothing so flashy as a head-to-the-toes, but still.

I tell Sophie, “do it every day, or you’ll lose it,” because I wish someone had said that to me when I had her spine.

And so sometimes, for fun, Sophie does an entire Primary with me.  She does many of the hardest poses like they are nothing, but then, interestingly, struggles with some that seem easy to me, like shoulderstand, or plow.  She can’t seem to get her shoulders underneath her for those one and keeps falling over.  Every body is different.

And hey, aren’t these some cute clothes we dyed?  Sophie’s design on those pants.  She’s amazing.

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I am struggling a bit lately to get the elephant of my yoga practice to fly.  The cybershala is a huge help.  Clickety-click through the yoga blogs and I almost always land on something that helps (although The Time, where does it go?).  Most anyone who cares has probably already seen this (but I hadn’t, so maybe that isn’t true…) but WOW do I love it.  In the words of Spike, “It was a bloody revelation!”

This is Kino talking about and quoting Richard Freeman speaking on the mula bandha, that source of endless speculation and attribution of super-powers:

“The topic of the class was on the scripture called Aparoksanubhuti by Shankaracharya, which is a non-dual text that Richard said was one of Guruji’s favorites. This text talks about mula bandha among many other things and I have included the sutra below that Richard spoke at length about.


Mula Bandha – 114
yanmulam sarvabhutanam yanmulam cittabandharam/
mulabandhah sada sevyo yogyo’sau rajayoginam


That which is the root of all existence and on which the cessation of the mind is based is called mulabndha, which should always be served since it is fit for raja-yogis.


Richard says that mula bandha is the cessation of thought so it cannot be something you think or try to do. It is more of a seva, which means service or to attend to and the idea is that mula bandha is treated like a deity and you do seva to the deity at the sacred temple sitting deep within the pelvis. The balancing of energies on the pelvic floor is the way to consecrate the temple and then the goddess serpent Kundalini will stand up when she wants to. The voyeur of the ego prevents the goddess from awakening because you have to invite her as the sacred flame at the root of the pelvic floor so that she inhabits the temple. Mula bandha according to Richard is not a mechanical thing but more like a devotional experience. He suggested doing a bhakti puja to Ganapti in the pelvis to get mula bandha and to invite the god into the temple at the base of the pelvic floor. In the form of the goddess, “sri” is her name.

Then with a cheeky smile Richard said that this is the secret part of the lineage and that he shouldn’t have even told us this. I thought for a moment about not sharing his definition of mula bandha but I decided to share it anyway. I hope I haven’t committed an Ashtanga crime.” [Source]

WOW.  WOW!!!  WOWOWOWOWOWOW.

Mula Bandha is a cessation of thought?  A sacred temple sitting deep within the pelvis?  Conscrate the temple and the goddess serpent will stand up? Should I just quote the rest of it too?  I’ve written the main part down on a card and taped it to my mat.  I’m thinking about a tattoo.

In other words, that ooshy, slurpy sound is my brain melting.

THERE’S A SECRET FREAKING PART OF THE LINEAGE???????

Do I have to climb a mountain or bow down before a guru for three decades to get more of this stuff?!?!?!  If so, sign me up!  Right after my kids grow up, I mean.

Just.  Wow.  I can’t even.

(Oh, and did you notice my new Yoga Practice Accountability Mini-Blog in the side bar?  Public humiliation for the win!)

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