luc the merciful
Posted on March 12, 2009 - Filed Under kiddo life
Luc (3 years old): Sophie took my ginger snap.
Me: [Making lunch] Shall I smite her?
Luc: [serious expression] What is smite?
Me: It’s when you flatten someone, just totally wipe them out, then maybe eat their bones on toast. Usually a god or a goddess does it.
Luc: Oh. [Ponders this.] How do you smite?
Me: Well, lightening is traditional. A really big hammer can work. Or maybe a plague of locusts. Locusts are a kind of flying bug.
Luc: Oh. What’s a plague?
Me: Um, a plague is a whole lot of something bad.
Luc: Oh. I have a hammer.
Me: Yes, you do.
Luc: [Ponders some more.] No, no, I don’t want you to smite Sophie.
Me: Okay. No smiting. That’s very merciful of you.
Luc: What’s mershee—mersee?
Me: Merciful. It’s when you’re nice to someone who has made a mistake. Instead of punishing them. You show them mercy.
Luc: Oh. Do I have mercy?
Me: Yes. If you want to.
Luc. Okay. Then I want to do the mercy and I want you to give Sophie her own cookie. I want, I want you to get my cookie back. Because it’s mine. But you can give her her own cookie. I just want mine back.
Me: Okay. [Finishing up what I was making.]
Luc: You’re taking too long.
Me: Okay, okay. I’m hurrying. [Wiping my hands.]
Luc: If you don’t go get my cookie back right now, I’m going to smite you with my hammer!
Me: Oh crap! I didn’t know you knew how to smite! I’d better get on it.
Luc: [Very pleased with himself.] I just learned how because you told me. Now get me my cookie or I’ll eat your bones on toast.
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I hope the toast is well-buttered, or perhaps a bit of cream cheese? Otherwise, I would think the bones would make the whole thing taste a bit dry.
Crunch, crunch, munch, mmmmm.