cul strikes again

We have a new member of the family, I think.

Yesterday, I walked into the bathroom to find the toilet paper had been unrolled in a big fluffy pile on the floor.  Again.  Luc stood nearby, innocently brushing his teeth, an action suspect in an of itself.

“Who unrolled the toilet paper?” said I.  Rhetorical question for the win!

He looked around, all sneaky like.  “It was Cul.”

“Cool?”

“NO.  C. U. L.  Cul.”  He leaned in close and whispered. “It’s Luc backwards.”

“OH!” He’s so good at getting me laughing when I’m heading down Grumpy Lane. “Cul.  I see.  Cul did this.  Did you try to stop him?”

“Yes.  But I couldn’t.  He jumped out the window.”

Of course he did.

You may know, if you have a Wii, that you can make a little person, a kind of mini-avatar, to play some Wii games. it’s called, I kid you not, a Mii.  Anyway, the kids love to do this as an activity in it’s own right, and our Wii-space is populated by dozens of Mii, some with quite…um…bizarre facial constructions.  And today, I noticed, there was a new Mii, named, you guessed it, Cul.

Cul, it turns out, has black hair, slanty eyes, angry eyebrows, a beard and mustache, and wrinkles.  “Don’t mess with Cul,” said Luc.  “He’s a bad dude.”

I have since discovered Cul’s handywork all over the yurt. Cul ate the last of a ice cream.  Cul took all the pillow cases off the pillows.  Cul put a rubber cockroach in my sleep hat.  (Yes, I have a sleep hat.  It’s a Thing.)

“I’m not sure if Cul is welcome around here,” I said, after my heart stopped pounding from instinctively throwing said rubber roach across the room and just generally, limbic-ly, freaking the fuck out.  I hate roaches.

“Cul doesn’t care,” said Luc. “Cul does whatever he wants.”

Um, yeah.  I respect the desire, but that isn’t going to happen.  Still, with some trepidation, I go with it.  “What else does Cul want to do?”

Luc puts on his totally serious face: “Cul wants to flail.”

“Flail?”

“YES.”

And I get it.  For four weeks now, Luc has had his casted up arm tied to his chest for fear that he would dislodge the two pins holding his tiny bones together.  Flailing has not been an option. Neither has drawing, dancing (much), playing two-handed video games, climbing, jumping off of things (what if he falls and can’t catch himself, not to mention lands on the pins…), not to mention the itching, not to mention the not bathing.  Okay, that last one is probably more a problem for me than for Luc.  And certainly not for Cul, who, I have on good authority, Does Not Bathe.

“I see.”

Instead of the Summer of Swimming, it’s become the Summer of Watching Lots of TV.

Luc’s done pretty well, considering.

But, just today, Luc got his big purple cast off (a smaller, blue cast has taken it’s place)! He  is now officially allowed a full range of motion in his shoulder, if not his elbow, because the pins have been successfully removed! And only two more weeks of the small cast and he will be Free to Flail!  We’re all very excited.

Luc has been positively giddy all afternoon.  Favorite activity?  Zombie dancing while singing Thriller. What will this child think of next?

(I don’t think I’ve seen the last of Cul.)