We’re all sick around here. Snot, coughs, that hurty skin feeling, ugh. We’ve been socked into the couch with blankets, discarded vitamin C packs, a mountain of crumbled tissues, watching endless tv. Thank goodness for streaming netflix on the wii.
Anyway, Saturday night, I pulled out my last bottle with the last dregs of Nyquil D, that’s the good stuff, the stuff that gives you that delicious floaty sleep, not the crap they sell now sullying the good Nyquil name. Did you know they changed the recipe? Then brought back the good stuff under the name Nyquil D? But you had to give your driver’s license number to buy it? And then they took it back off the market again this fall?? Its SO SAD. So this was the last of my supply. It was not without some mourning that I glugged it down.
Ah, the dreams! Nyquil dreams are—were (sob!)—the BEST.
I dreamed of my book Conjuring Raine. Wednesday I got back the last of fulls from agents who, with praise and apologies, still refrained from offering to sell it. Sigh. I should keep going, I’ll find someone who will take it on, persevere, yada yada fucking yada.
But I’m turning 40 in a few weeks. I started this writing thing ten years ago. Ten. A decade ago. Before I had children, I wrote my first novel and I really, really thought I’d be doing the Published Author thing by now. By 40 I was supposed to have a few books out, for heavens sake. And I’ve worked it, believed me. I’ve had a top New York agent, I was on submission with her for eons, then she drifted away when nibbles did not turn into bites. Back to query land, back to the rejection factory, why did I want to do this again?
In the dream, I was designing the new cover for Raine, this fabulous cover, and in the dream, as it can only be in dreams, designing this cover was a kinesthetic, sensual, technicolor thing to do. I would wake up a little in my floating Nyquil euphoria and then roll back over into designing my book, not the content, but the book. And when I woke up, I knew I wanted to join the ranks of Indie Authors and publish it myself. Waking Dreams Press is born.
I’ve contacted a copy editor, several cover artists, made a to-do list as long as my arm, made a business plan. In between blowing my nose. It feels exciting, and freeing, and a rush of energy where before I had felt something close to despair.
I’m still querying Toby Streams the Universe, the book I just finished. Keep one foot in each world. Eggs in multiple baskets. Hedge my bets. Have my cake and eat it too. But I have a whole stack of books written over the last decade that could be released, possibly, by Waking Dreams. We’ll see how it goes. But for sure, stay tuned for the release of Raine to a Kindle near you….