the idiot hat, or, sophie has had enough

We get grumpy. Everyone gets grumpy, right? Sometimes its hard to want to be a good enough person not to inflict one’s grumpiness on others. Sometimes being a jerk feels good. For a little while. Until the remorse kicks in. Except lately the the remorse hits me mid-jerk-ness, which kind of takes the shine off the whole “I’m an asshole and I’m loving it” moment. Ah, well.

But anyway, Sophie came up with a solution to the problem of Other People’s Grumpiness last night that is simply astonishing in its effectiveness. Paul (yes, I’m certain it was Paul this time, and not me, why do you ask?) had received the deadly infection of grumpiness from…from wherever it comes from, and acting under Grumpiness’s influence, he said something snooty to Sophie. Who promptly made him a paper hat with the word “IDIOT” written on it.

“Here,” she said. “You have to wear this.”

Paul looks at it doubtfully. “What is it?”

“It’s an Idiot Hat.”

He starts smiling. “You made me an Idiot Hat?”

Totally serious. “Yes.”

“How long do I have to wear it?”

“Until you do something nice.”

Paul puts it on his head where it kind of perches, wobbling, being, as it is, a bit too small. “Fair enough.”

The genius of the Idiot Hat is that one does feel like an Idiot while wearing it, not because it looks funny—which it totally does—but because, through the magical and mysterious powers of The Hat, one is suddenly able to see, with painful clarity, just how much of an ass one has just been.

I could see all of this, from a distance, and enjoy its efficacy, but it was not until this morning that I truly understood.

Pre-coffee, the infection of grumpiness hit me. I snapped at Luc.

From the other side of the yurt comes Sophie’s calm, announcing voice: “Idiot Hat for Mom.”

I burst out laughing.