mothers and daughters doing yoga

I’ve started doing yoga again. I was really into it in my late twenties and early thirties, but then I had babies and it fell away. Now it’s falling back.

However it became obvious right away that doing yoga with little kids does not look like a yoga practice is ‘supposed’ to. At all. Spongebob might be on, or a Zombies Vs. Plants on the computer, or a giant floor puzzle being put together inches from my mat, or Knights in Shining Armor may gallop through the room. More frequently, the act of me doing this odd behavior becomes a magnet and kids that have been semi-ignoring me suddenly want to play. A standing pose becomes a monkey bar to climb, a sitting pose becomes a lap to crawl into, a lying down pose becomes a horse to bounce on. That would be me, as the horse. Neigh.

I remember this article I read a million years ago B.K. (before kids), maybe even before Paul, an article about cultivating a daily yoga practice. A mom in the article talked about doing her practice and talking to her small daughter while she did headstand. She said something like, “I never wanted her to feel shut out of what I was doing.” That line has stayed with me all these years. It seems right. I mean, what’s the point of yoga if it means you have to push away people you love? So I have worked at inviting them into my yoga practice in whatever way they have asked for.

Of course, sometimes that means stopping in the middle of things. Luc, particularly, LOVES to sit underneath me when I’m doing a Down Dog. He scurries over during that part of the Sun Salutation where Down Dog lasts for five breaths and once he’s under me, he looks up, all happy, like he’s just gotten in out of the rain. Forget the vinyasa, forget ‘slow, even breathing.’ Here is a small person trying to kiss my belly button. Time to surrender. I get scared that he’ll knock me over and I’ll hurt my knees, my weak link. I get frustrated when I’m stopped in the flow of things. But the truth is, I would rather have him here, in my life interfering with my yoga, than gone and have all the peace and quiet required for an uninterrupted yoga practice. Times about a MILLION. It’s a tremendous blessing to be loved by someone that much. For him to want to be with me so much is pretty cool, and rare, and it will pass as he gets older. I try to keep this in my mind when I’m shaky from working hard and I can’t focus and he wants to sit on me and I really want to tell him to get the heck off my mat. Time to breathe and smile. I don’t want him to think of yoga as that thing Mommy did where she sent me away. I want him to always feel welcome.

With Sophie, it’s a little different. Sometimes, inviting the kids in means getting them a mat of their own.

Because, as it turns out, Sophie loves yoga. And about every other day she sets up her mat next to mine and we do yoga together. It’s so cool.

Big surprise, she’s awesome at doing the poses. She’s so much better at them than me! She can do lotus, handstand, headstand, splits, put her forehead to her kneecaps, and… oh, yeah, the number one rule in yoga is Don’t Compare Yourself to the Person on the Next Mat. Right.

Sophie does Sun Salutations with me and some standing poses. She loves backbends and inversions, and enjoys trying tricky poses I show her books, because I sure as hell can’t do them. She gets bored if I hold a pose too long, but she’s learned enough now to do a few of her own things while she’s waiting for me. But her all time favorite is Restorative Yoga. She likes Supported Paschimottanasana (supported forward bend) and adores Viparita Karani (Legs Up The Wall). We get out all the props and set it up, then get all sleepy and relaxed in the poses together while Luc builds pirate ships or lego castles.

I have fantasies sometimes that she’ll get really into it and carry it with her into her adult life. How I wish someone had said to me, when I was flexible enough to rest my head in the soles of my feet, that if I did it every day, I’d never lose it. But I let those fantasies go. Today she wants to do a little yoga. If I hold no expectations, no picture of how it should be, no control over it, it is really, really fun to do yoga together. That’s enough. In fact, that’s huge.