2 stories, 1 joke, and a song

Story #1

Sophie was drawing an huge, scary, creature-looking thing last night and I asked her who it was.

“This guy is the meanest guy in the whole world. His name is Peacock Stink-poot! He has the stinkiest poots in the whole universe! When he poots, they can smell it all the way in China! His eyelashes are so long, when he is at the zoo, his eyelashes are at the grocery store! He has people who work for him who go out and be MEAN. They sneak up on you when you’re asleep and GRAB you and throw you in a dungeon where you have to eat all the time and only watch tv and they just keep watching you! Until you’re six! And then they throw you in the potty!”

Me: “Wow. So, um, how did he become so evil?”

Sophie: “When he died of old age, he was shot with an invisible gun that turned him into a MONSTER! So he really can’t help it. His teeth are brown and they stink so bad he has flies flying through his mouth. GROSS! And his head is green, and his feet are orange, and his hair is all colors. See?” [shows all color hair on the drawing]

Me: “Amazing. What happened to him?”

Sophie; “In episode 44, he lost his hair, but then he found it in his shoes. And his arms are shiny blue. They explain that in episode 21. No one can resist the color of his arms!”

Story #2

Luc walked into the room this morning looking thoughtful. I said, “Hey, guy, what’s up?” And he answered, “Well, I had to poop. There was a long one and a short one. I thought they would both go down, but the long one went down and the short one stayed up. But it was okay. And that’s the story.”

Me: laughing

A Joke

Luc was eating sardines for lunch the other day. And he was naked. It is very hard to get that little boy to leave his clothes on! Anyway, as is wont to happen when a 3 year old eats, he dribbled sardine all down his front. And, being naked, I mean ALL the way down. (Ewwww!)

Sophie happened to walk by and said, in this totally dry voice, “Looks like Mr. Willy went fishing.”

Ba-dum-bump!

A Song

Luc: “Mom, can I have some ice cream?”

Me: “Yes.”

Luc: [singing to himself] That’s the way, uh huh, uh huh, I liiike it, uh huh, uh huh!