say it isn’t so

Somewhere along the line I’ve gotten an evil case of tinnitus. It totally sucks. I notice it most at night, trying to sleep in the quiet yurt—quiet except for the whistle inside my head that I can not shut off. It makes me want to run screaming from the room, which helps, because I can’t hear the ringing while I’m screaming, but then, you know, I just take the ringing with me, so the help is short lived.

And to top it off—and I’m not sure if it is actually a part of tinnitus, some inner ear thing, or whether it is just my personal vasovagal insanity—but when the ringing is bad, I get nauseous and feel like I’m going to faint, too. Weird, huh? I’ve really got to do something about it. But I don’t listen to loud music or go to concerts and I don’t take medications and those are the big things to check, according to my Google Health Plan. (You know, first you google the symptoms, then you google the treatment).

Which leaves giving up coffee.

No! No! WTF? NOOOOOOO!

Before I had kids, I used to roast green coffee beans in a popcorn popper, grind in my burr grinder, and pull perfect espresso shots drowning in crema (that’s the caramel colored foam on the top of a really good shot) with my super fancy Sylvia espresso machine. Ahhhhh….oh yeah…. Oh, excuse me, a little, um, drool—

I don’t do all that now. No time in the morning when I’ve got to get several other hungry people fed, plus milk goats. But I still love my coffee. I use fresh ground beans (not home roasted, but still), and a gold filter pour over, for uberstrong coffee full of body and caffeinated goodness, yum yum. Tons of sugar and cream and I’m in heaven.

But there are several studies that link coffee and tinnitus. Crap. Double crap. Triple crap.

I’m going to do it, though. I’m going to give up my beloved coffee for a month and see if it makes any difference. I kind of hope it does, because hey, I don’t want this fucking ringing anymore, you know? But I kind of hope it makes no difference at all, and I can go back to relishing my morning joe.

Caffeine-withdrawal headaches, here I come.