spring fever workout unplan

What is it about spring that makes me want to declutter my house, institute a budget, and lose 10 pounds?

Usually my Spring Fever is confined to a few weeks of activity, mostly centered around reading about decluttering, budgeting, and working out. In fact, one of my favorite spring activities is to eat junk food and read work-out books. It’s like Paul (who usually has an inner task master to make Naval Sea Captains weep), chilling out, drinking a beer, and watching the Do-It-Yourself network. Man, look at those people do all that work. I’d never do it that way. (take drink) See, where they’re going wrong is….The pleasure of watching other people get sweaty! All the fun and none of the work! With me it’s writing out detailed work-out schedules, all the while crunching on my Black Bean Chili Chips, and imagining how lovely I’ll feel as a more fit human. Ahh, good times.

But, sometimes it doesn’t stop there. If I’m really inspired, I move into Phase II of Spring Fever: Buying Gear.

Maybe it’s some budgeting software. Maybe it’s a new pair of work-out shoes, or a heart rate monitor (those are so cool). Maybe it’s an organizer for my desk. Oh, the enjoyment of taking these oh so concrete steps towards a more streamlined life. Can’t you just feel the virtue emanating from that gym membership and those hanging file folders? Everything will be different now! This will the be year I really get myself organized and start meditating, and saving money, and crunching my abs!

Well, this spring has been no exception. Particularly about [cue scary music] EXERCISE.

Now, I love exercise, I really do. I love how it makes me feel. I love it in theory, and in reality. I love it as long as it isn’t time to do it, you know, now.

But there are some things that have gotten me going. For example, the most motivational exercise book I have ever read is Younger Next Year, and it’s companion for women (which is odd, it being written by two men and all) but I SWEAR, this book gets me working out every time. I highly recommend it. Basically it just scares the bejeezus out of you about the illnesses of aging that are, so many of them, directly related to living a sedentary life. I mean, it totally gets me working out for, like, a month. That’s hardcore.

Another one was that whole 10,000 steps craze with the pedometer thing—I’m a sucker for little gizmos, and this one really got me walking, all for the joy of seeing the little numbers go up. Even Oprah was doing it! It had to be good!

But you know what? The periods of my life where I have gotten the most in shape was when working out was directly linked to some extremely short term (read: instant) pleasure. For example, when I was a Highlander fan, and had no tv, I used to get on the stair machine for an entire hour, EVERY weekday, to watch hunka-burnin-love Duncan MacLeod on the televisions at the gym.

We really need a photo to illustrate this point, don’t we?

Oh, my. You don’t even need a stair machine to get your heart rate up with this guy around.

I’ll tell you…the Highlander Workout Plan was an unqualified success. Buns of steel.

Anyway, it’s become increasingly clear that long term goals don’t work for me.

Barking orders, I’ve discovered, is only fun if I’m barking them at someone else (read: long suffering husband), not myself. I rebel against orders (he does, too). Not only will I NOT spend/eat/whatever less, I’ll spend/eat/whatever MORE. Instituting a Plan doesn’t work, because if there is a Plan, I’ll rebel against it. A diet, an exercise schedule, a to do list, a budget—instant instructions to my inner self to GO HOG WILD.

So, I’m trying it differently this year.

My kids, as always, are my teachers. It’s hard not to notice how, at three and five years old, they have these delightful days just packed with jumping, running, climbing…. you know. Exercise. They could care less about the logic of long term goals towards health or fitness. They want what’s fantastic and joyful and sparkly and marvelous and NOW. It comes right out of being little babies and knowing that what they want is exactly what is good for them: nursing, cuddling, sleeping, playing. So I started asking myself, how could I get (regain?) a little of that trust?

Well, it means doing stuff that is fun, right? It means playing. It means doing things just because. And the focus has to be on what’s enjoyable about it right now, not in some future time.

So I’ve been paying more attention to those things. Fun. Play. Right now. And, oddly, I’ve found that if I remove all the Orders and Plans from my psyche and just follow that inner nudge, the same one that used to be about nursing and cuddling, I really do want to move sometimes. Dance, run, jump on the trampoline, ride my bike. Look at me, I’m exercising!

What if what I want, what’s fun, really is what I NEED, too? Just like when I was a baby? If I stop calling it exercise and just start playing, in the way that that inner voice desires in any given moment, will I get in better shape?

I don’t know, but I intend to find out. Therefore, I now commence the the Spring Fever Work-Out Unplan.

No, make that my Spring Fever Play-Out Unplan. Maybe it’ll work in a backwards kind of way. I won’t get in shape, but I’ll be having so much fun, I won’t care. Could be worse, right?