nyquil gives us back the good stuff
Public service announcement! Nyquil is back! Huh, you say? Where did it go? Well, let me tell you.
Years ago I used to look forward to getting the sniffles because, hey, it meant I could cozy up to my big green jug of Nyquil and drift into a happy, floaty, dreamy sleep. Man, I loved that. Nyquil dreams rock. Ahh, good times.
But then, somehow, it didn’t seem to be working anymore. The dreamy sleep just wasn’t so…dreamy. I figured I had developed a tolerance or something. I tried it a few more times, but…meh. So I gave it up.
But wait! Today I found out that the reason it wasn’t working any more is that Vicks changed the formula!
That’s right—Nyquil now has doxylamine succinate, which, as far as I can tell, doesn’t do crap. It turns out that pseudoephedrine, the stuff in the old Nyquil, can be used to make methamphetamine. And the The Combat Methamphetamine Epidemic Act of 2005 put big ole restrictions on the stuff. It’s still legal, but apparently people used to buy up cases of Nyquil and do naughty things with it, ruining it for the rest of us. So Vicks took the pseudoephedrine out—and lost a butt-load of customers, because, hey, the new formulation sucked.
Vicks, realizing it’s error, in a tried-and-true New Coke/Classic Coke style move, brought the old formulation BACK!
[cue rejoicing in the streets]
It’s true. Now you can get the good stuff, called Nyquil D (D for dreamy? druggie? dumb-ass?), in a drugstore near you—only there’s a catch. They keep it behind the counter. You have to ask for it. And they take down your driver’s license information. No shit.
So, if you’re willing to put up with the Nyquil Distribution Police (OH! Is that what the ‘D’ is for?), you can get your very own green jug of dreamy cold-medicine heaven, once again. Woo hoo!
I can’t wait to get the sniffles again.
Category: mayalife
I KNEW it! I too missed the misty sleepiness when I’m sick and need to sleep. Thank you for the heads up.
Glad to be of service!
I tried that at three different stores and the pharmacists said I could only get the good stuff after I agreed (via signature or electronic check box) to bind myself to a $250,000 fine if I did a “trick.” Weasel words like “trick” can be defined in so many different ways that I would essentially be binding myself to the whims of the DEA.
No thanks. Implementation of The Combat Methamphetamine Epidemic Act of 2005 is a criminal circumvention of the legal system of the United States that uses licensing sanctions and civil contracts to bypass the trial by local jury guarantee of the U.S. Constitution. Vick’s is not going to get my business as long as the only way to get their product is via agreement to an illegal contract.
Wow Zephram, that ‘trick’ thing is crazy. I just asked Paul and he said yes, he had signed something when he got that last bottle, and so far so good, but he definitely didn’t like it. I guess if the DEA comes knocking, I’ll know why.