the emotional insanity of writing
Sometimes, often in the first 100 pages of a first draft, the story soars along, and each night firing up the laptop is like tuning into a brand new episode of a favorite show. What will happen next? The characters phone in and dish. I sit, watch, and eat snacks. It’s awesome.
At other times, there is a sense of hard work. Of straining under a load to get a few hundred words. They’re good words, it’s a good time, but it is slow going. I’m a mason, building a stone wall, one heavy-ass rock at a time.
Then there are the times when a doom settles in. That is when I know the truth: this is unequivocally the worst shite I have ever written–no, the worst shite ever written in the history of writing. Okay, maybe not that bad, but definitely crap. Total and utter crap. Maybe I’m not a writer after all. Why bother? Who cares?
Luckily, I did that last month. This month, I’m having a period of “this is the Best Thing I Have Ever Written.” Knots that have been tangled for years are unwinding themselves. Revelations appear. Solutions come to me in dreams. I walk through thickets of roses, wonder-struck as they part before me.
It is a most dangerous time.
Grandiosity and fantasies of fame and wealth can suck up creativity and writing time. Ten minutes thinking about how I’ll spend my book advance is ten minutes of creative juice I haven’t put into the novel. However, it can be a wonderful time, if sandtraps are avoided, because so much work can get done. Get it while it’s hot! The muse is riding me and I pray for endurance, and humility, and enough time to get as many pages down as possible.
Anyway, it’s a hell of a lot more fun then the times when, as an alternative to opening the work-in-progress file, I would rather pour gasoline on myself and strike a match.
What an insane activity that produces all of this drama! It’s silly, really. And what is REALLY silly is how compelling all these thoughts are.
There are brief moments of semi-clarity, or, at least, a bit of distance from the roller coaster. In those moments I can see that, yes, I’m in that part of the writing now, where I hate myself, my characters, and god. Or, yes, I’m in that part of the writing now, where I love it, it’s easy, everything is shiny. These things pass. Just sit down, butt-in-chair, and do the work. It’s kind of zen, really. Zen on crack.
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today's yoga practice
- friday
May 11, 2012 | 10:09 am…and now we come to lady’s holiday. the weakest week of yoga that ever barely happened.
- thursday
May 11, 2012 | 9:09 amprimary to navasana. can’t seem to get past freaking navasana this week. at least I’m on the mat.
- wednesday
May 11, 2012 | 9:08 amprimary to navasana with Maria’s vid.
- tuesday
May 11, 2012 | 9:08 amSKIP. Shame.
- monday
May 11, 2012 | 9:07 amprimary to navasana. am I back in the saddle?
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Archive for today's yoga practice »
- friday
upcoming book releases
a few greatest hits
- recycling other people's junk
- the way of the bento
- the amazing emu
- the emotional insanity of writing
- going all erin brockovich on your ass
- the TOOL shed
- yurts: the downside
- bikini power vs. the ratty sweater
- diggers watch tv, too
- unexpected benefit of living in a round house #27
- crafts for karma
- triple chocolate pudding goop, or, this way lies madness
- bad things come in threes. or fours. (or maybe fives?)
- screen time for fun and profit
- the yip-yips do not cause childhood obesity
- spike and buffy got screwed--now with proof! (part 1)
- writing without pencil sharpening
- butterfly house
- remains of the play
- go, go, godzilla!
"Dusi's Wings" April, 2003. . . .
"One thing fantasy can do for us is to give shape to the mysterious in the world; another is to make emotional yearning concrete. The early sections of "Dusi's Wings" do just that...there was a strong grasping towards the spiritual in fantasy here that was very promising, and I look forward to reading more by Lassiter." --review, Tangent Online.twitterage
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- Avengers! Assemble! | mayaland on things i don’t get about iron man
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- Michele on angel book update: covers, editors, and fans, oh my!










Like your use of “shite” Felt at home reading that blog!
Sophie looks so BIG! And beautiful Maya, does your heart just burst every time you look at her?
WOW on the bees!!!!! Thoughts of tasting that home-farmed(?) honey someday very appealing!
Jesus, I could read forever here. You are prolific girl! Mims pic v. cute! Hen story nice too. What do they eat that colours the shell so? Must be diet right? mmmmmmmm love a free range egg!
Night now, must go get some food for me. Wish I had your life right now maya – full and filled with lots of colour and love!
Love, saundie
I just typed a G’darn comment. But now it is asking me to type one again! WHat is this shoit? The type is above- stupid computer, can’t you see it?
Dang quotable. Some of my favorites:
“What will happen next? The characters phone in and dish. I sit, watch, and eat snacks. It’s awesome.”
“I walk through thickets of roses, wonder-struck as they part before me.”
“It’s kind of zen, really. Zen on crack.”
It all sounded painfully familiar to me. Thank the gods I’m still in my first 100 pages …
Luc
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